An Ode to Engine, the World's Worst Cat.

Just a Ode to our Cat...as I wipe water off the table, chairs and floors because he NEEDED a drink from a glass on the dinner table. Directly after I shooed him off my flowers( he was snacking) which was directly after stealing some leftovers from the counter. Which was after I peeled him off the insulation in the unfinished bathroom( insulation is fun..could be litter?)

Once apon a time,
October, 2010.
There was a stray,
Found again.
Inside a car,
Burnt and Sore
The S.P.C.A,
They took him in,
Patched him up,
Made him whole again.
A little boy.
He walked on by,
turned around and
took his Dad inside.
Where he called the Mom,
Pleaded and cried.
To take the cat home,
Make him whole inside.
The Mom went down,
Against her will.
Met the cat,
She stayed strong willed...
But she didn't last.
The cat got up, looked at her,
his big round eyes,
they looked soo kind.
His name was Engine,
Kevin said with pride.
The Cat came home,
Turned out they lied...
The cat he grew,
To an enormous size.
He grew and grew,
Got Bad inside.
He loved the boy,
The boy loved him.
But overall he was a sin.
Why does this cat,
Hate us so?
Why does he steal the kids food?
Pee in the sink?
Wake the kid at night to play?
Climb the walls, screen, curtains and more?
Why does he lick his balls so well
On my kitchen counters and still?
On the table, why must he...
Be everything he need not be?
We buy the best for this damn cat,
But still he steals like a big fat rat
The foods I fed the family,
He has a chair, he sits so nice
to keep him off the god damn table.
They feed him scraps,
And trained him so,
To use his paw,
To nab that food
That keeps him fed
While I wish him dead.
Why does he sleep all F'ing day
Just to play the night away.
We love our cat, but fear the worst..
If it goes on, he'll end up back
At that damn store that sold the cat
To a little boy who loves him so.
Dear god why does he love him so,
As that damn cat,
He grows and Grows
He is 17 lbs 2 years later
I hope he gets eaten
By an alligator.
For a great big snack,
He would make
But lets face it,
The cat wont die,
He'll outlive me,
To my shigrin.
I'll never be free,
From that F%^cking cat
Because I like
the F^%#cking cat,
He keeps me up,
All night and day,
I wonder why he bothers to stay
But then I see the way that he,
Kisses a boy who doesn't see,
The issues with that F*^cking cat
For our sweet Boy
Loves his cat
They are now whole,
They two stray beings.
They found each other,
To which I say,
Who cares about Mother!

My ONE reader is whining..............Hi Michelle!

Hello,

 It's been awhile. We have been busy lazy over here. BUT................The Community Garden is back in full swing. We took the kids  our son and The Illegals to the open house about 2 weeks ago where they got their picture taken for the local newspaper. We weeded our two plots and planted our beets, carrots, lettuce and bush beans. We have tons more space to fill up yet!.
Let me tell you a bit about the gardens:
It was started a couple years back by a community organization called YPN ( Young Professionals of Nanaimo) They decided that a good way to use old gas station ground was to build raised beds and start people gardening. I was ALL over this. We live in a condo, with a covered deck so our options are very limited. I was frustrated because in our condo community consisting of 2 large buildings and plenty of space no one BUT ME thought it was beneficial to start a shared garden here. People worried about the cost ( even though I said I would cover it) worried about the "look" of it, the "work" , etc. Basically it all comes down to condo owners don't care. Most people want to think that because they live in a condo they are environmentally friendly.................................WRONG. Lights on, no recycling, no composting for fear of rats( we live in the middle of a city, of course there are rats!) and the dreaded EFFORT of it all. Anyways, Rant over. So the community gardens appealed to me when my friend and fellow hippy Jenine mentioned it. The kids LOVE it and let me tell you a secret. Ready? It's a gooder! Kids will eat anything they help grow. It's also a great science project to watch the growth and see how it all happens from seed to table. It's all around good for everyone involved.  I still have a lot to plant and we haven't made it back to see the growth yet but spring is near( would be here, lol) and that means 4-5 months of excited kids screaming and running around 45 raised beds, checking the gardens. Nothing makes me happier.
 Our small bundle of crankiness turned 4 too! Also a big deal....he made it to 4. I wasn't sure he would survive 3, or 2 for that matter, lol.
 OH!!!!!!!!!! New Illegals joined us, well one has joined our merry band of gardeners, 2 are possibilities. I couldn't be happier as I finally have a decent income and that means.........we will be out of condo HELL living sooner rather than later. Also..hubby needs a new bike, it's his only form of work transportation and his is well.....a death trap.
 OH! OH!! I made my own menstrual pads. I usually have to wear one at night with another form of protection..sigh. Totally sucks to be a girl sometimes. So I have completed my transformation into a hippy. I only use Dr. Bronners, stopped wearing make-up for the most part ( except when Mom comes to town........I don't need the emotional abuse that comes with " Why don't you do something with yourself" ) Bah......couldn't be bothered. I sneak at least 3 vegetarian meals into my family a week. I have a grocery bill "war" going on, secretly of course( this is where the vegetarian comes in, good meat is not cheap...Costco meat is cheap, gag). I LOVEEEEE spending less than everyone else and eating way better foods than everyone else. I have also decided not to purchase any soy products because along with the microwave The Devil' Oven,Soy is The Devil's Meal. Can we say GMO much?? And those of you not paying attention and blindly eating what the government says is fine should be shot. Seriously, shear your wool and get a brain. BAHHHH BAHHHHHHH