SOoooooo....it's been awhile. I am now 31 weeks pregnant, working the daycare at least 50 hours a week and if you don't mind my sayin' Fucking tired. But wth all of the daily life that happens around here and all the boogers, whining( mostly mine), tests, appointments, illegals, preschool etc I have something to say and discuss. No it's not homesteading, cooking, baking, gardening or whatever I would love to do more of..it's a topic that should stir something.
When did parenting become a underground movement?
What I mean is...when did we as mothers become more important than our families? When did husbands stop caring who cared for thier kids? When did the modern world start expecting teachers, daycare providers, doctors and babysitters to raise our kids? WTF is wrong with people?
Pause for phone call from Mudder......and to feed the ravenous beast watching cartoons.( yes, we hippies do let our kids watch tv once a week..maybe more when mom is dog tired and pregnant but I will never tell) And by the way my Mudder has still accomplished more than me today at twice my age.
So anyways...parenting or the lack thereof. Sigh...this is a very hot topic for me and I am "mildly" opinionated about it. What spawned my rant today was a friend posting in a Mommies group on facebook about how she NEEDED "kid-free time"
WTF #1 - Her kids are in daycare 50-60 hours a week, home for dinner and bed and on weekends- ummmmmm isn't your life of working, gym, hair etc "kid-free time"
WTF #2 - Who doesn't want to spend saturdays with the kids they bred, birthed and "parented"
WTF #3 - pretty sure my Mom dragged us with her to the mall despite the pain and torture it inflicted on us all..including her.
SO I began to think....WTF happened to "Moms? You know...that wild eyed, jean and runner wearing, non waxed entity that had complete unrefuted knowledge of her children. Well look around. I am happy to report there is a small underground movement in your local community. You can search them out not by their gossip, buns of steel, manicures, hair dye or $50,0000 mini-vans( wtf..its still a minivan douche bag) You will find these habitual creatures in your local parks, malls, grocery stores and doctors office. How do you know what your looking for you ask, if not for lulu lemon, manicures and starbucks?? Here is a short list to help you out with your Mom scavenger hunt:
1) Her kids are dirty and bruised and plentyful. Don't judge...they are not beaten. They are outside so mom can mop the floor or brush her teeth. Bruises happen to kids by life happening...it's NORMAL. My son has not had a leg unbruised since he was 4.5 months and crawling. He is dirty, sometimes smells and known to touch ..GASPPPPPP.....dirt and bugs. Often digging for gold in a dirt pile with a stick. What odds...he is 5.
2) When her minivan pulls up and the doors open...you have the distinct pleasure of smelling life...rotten fruit that was never recovered, kids, socks, boogers and cheap coffee spilt in the console. There is no "hawaiin tropical" air freshener or some other bullshit fakeness. There are no leather seats, DVD players or Brain rotting devices. Its a vehicle...not a status symbol. For the record, I do drive a newer minvan....but a DODGE..not a honda, vw, nissan..a plain ole dodge caravan. It gets us where we are going and smeels like rotten things and strangely enough a dog...we don't have a dog though.....
3) She does not pack countless toys or store bought snacks. Her kids come with water bottles and fruit...maybe a granola bar if the kids ate thier lunch. Her kids are most likely the ones using their imaginations and being told not to pick their noses and arses. She is not afraid to ask if so and so wiped his bum after doing a number 2.
4) Her attire:
Mom jeans...yes we still wear them. They fit awesome 5-10 years ago and ther is nothing wrong with them so we still wearing them. They could be maternity style but you'll never know.
Her shirt most likely has a hole in it or a stain. It is most definetly not a name brand that matters to most but it's comfortable and her boobs dont fall out. Probably cotton.
Her bra does nothing for her either...but it's comfortable. Probably cotton
Now look at her feet...something sensible that says " I can catch you before you leave the park exit arsehole so don't bother running". Most likely older runners or maybe even her slippers...it happens.
5) Her general appearance leads you to a complete and thorough diagnosis as a Mom. Her nails are chipped, dirty and short...real moms wipe bums and dont want poo glued to their hands all day.
IS she even wearing make up???? Probably not..also deodorant is a maybe...
Her hair is in a hair tie, probably unbrushed or at least looking so.
Wax has not touched her body since her first baby ..other than that time the kids knocked over a candle and she caught it left handed while fixing a stuffed rabbit or stepping on lego.
At this point in your search you are probably wickedly disgusted and mocking her but let me tell you something about Real Moms. Our kids are smart, well adjusted, disciplined good citizens of the world. No they aren't perfect. Neither are we. They are learning and we are teaching them. So while 80% of the world drops their kids off with strangers to be taught things that are deemed someone elses "job" like how to tell the difference between a circle and a square, or say please, these Moms are teaching, hugging, wiping, loving maniacs.We aren't scared or intimidated by other Moms...you have nothing on us. Your manicured hands wouldn't last 2 hours in our lives and we don't stay home because we are rich. We make sacrifices so our kids have us. My husband works his ass off so that I can raise our children responsibly and safety. I work..I do daycare. I provide a service to people who work. There is nothing wrong with working...we all need to make a living but there is something wrong with using it as an excuse to pass the parenting buck to someone else because it might get to hard or interfer in someway with your own life.
Where were your Moms when you were growing up? I know where mine was...working her ass off day and night for us. My parents raised us..not a sitter, daycare worker or teacher. My parents taught us manners and to be good people. They taught us the value of life and it didn't matter if the hurt bird we found was going to die anyways.......we were taught how to help it. We werent sent somewhere everytime my mom needed groceries or a haircut. We waited in the truck in parking lots with Dad( or god forbid these days alone once in awhile) so she could run in. She didnt NEED time away but we all had time together. My parents both worked. My dad monday - friday and sometimes weekends and my mom at night. She was a janitor...did she want to be?? Hell no, but she needed to be home for us. So I have the highest regard for my parents and other Real Parents. They did it well. Weekends in the summer...no matter how dog tired they were, we packed up and went camping, fishing, swimming, etc. Was that my moms break? Yes..because we went with friends. Was it more work...fuck yes. But in between the chaos, cooking, cleaning, etc that camping brings there were brief moments where her and her mom friends sat in chairs watching us live life. And that was the reward. My parents have raised 3 kind, generous, caring human beings.
Did we think we missed the boat because Mexico or disneyland never happened? Never once. We called our spot at the lake disneyland.
I take what my parents gave us and try to do the same. I have sacrificed things and no longer look like the athletic cheerful wonder that my husband fell in love with but let me tell you something about good husbands; It gets better. We don't look the same, we laugh about ourselves but through the wonder of children, life, age and wisdom we love harder and more. Real Moms are sexy to Real Dads.
So ladies....put down the cellphones and peel back your nails. Sit down at the table with your kids and grab a piece of paper....teach them something. Teach them to think, love, care, give( one of the most important) and stop padding the world...kids fall, make mistakes, hurt feelings, sometimes yes they steal. Teach them not to. To hold doors open for older people, not to race in first. To say please and thank you. Teach them to pick up their garbage..not that someone else is paid to do it. Teach them life can be sad( birds die, cats die, grandmas die) but that it always gets easier. Teach them that they are not entitled to the world but that they are part if it. You wonder what is wrong with the world today when kids can shoot other kids and steal ipods from backpacks...but claim to "not have time" for them. Skip the bloody gym or take a day off work to spend with these incredible creatures you have the distinct pleasure in raising. The pay off is incredible. My parents get to sit at a table now filled with 3 daughters, 3 son in laws, and umpten grandkids...all well adjusted and cared for and caring. We have too many pets, too many bills, no alone time but there is more life and love than can be imagined. And this mom jean, unwaxed, cellulitey Mom is proud and happy to be part of a movement called parenting. Join us...it's the best club in town but very exclusive. Good luck in your hunt!
