My husband is a super hero.....

I drove home tonight 1.5 hours on a stormy night  alone as my almost 4 year old decided  refused to come home with me. He stayed at the funny farm with the clothes on his back. When I left ( sadly and unsure of leaving him) he was happily listening to Nigel on guitar and playing legos with his cousins surrounded by people and dogs. Part of me is soo proud that he has that confidence and assurance in him, me and our family. Part of me feels very lonely tonight in our 1000 sq. ft. The point....right the point of my post. All the things I want to tell him. All the things I hope for him, want him to be etc. I think Bob Dylan summed it up perfectly in his song "Forever Young"

May god bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every run
May you stay, forever young
May you stay forever young
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

 As I was pondering everything my little man is, was and will be this song came on the ipod. Sung by Audra Mae. I want to add that I will apologize to him one day for him being sooooo much like me, lol. Stubborn, Quick tempered, moral to a fault, honest to a fault, speaks before he thinks and so on. His father on the other hand............shy, socially awkward, goofy, patient, good, kind. I hope Kevin learns that from his Dad. His Dad is a superhero. Not int he way little boys see their Dads, but in how I see him. He absorbs everything without pause. AND TRUST ME in 8 years I have thrown everything at him and some days everything! We have been through his brother dying at 27 of cancer, several miscarriages, cancer, everything. I am lucky. ON the eve of my follow up Dr's appointment that will either clear me of cancer or tell me we have a few more months to deal with things I am thinking of my husband. We have tried a long time to get pregnant. We got pregnant...........the fates decided for whatever reason that it was cancer, not a life growing inside me. IN the span of a few hours I went from happy pregnant lady at the midwife to laying in the hospital on a bed waiting for surgery. I am soo very lucky that they removed the whole tumour and I recovered swiftly(physically) Unfortunately mentally it has been more than rough. IN the last year alone I have thrown grief,. sadness, happiness, deep depression, fear, anger, fury, frustration, confusion, hate, love and everything in between at my superhero of a husband and through it all he absorbed each emotion and stood silently waiting. It's his quiet way. We are polar opposites and NO ONE from either family, our friends etc gave us a fighting chance. We still fight for it. BUT I married a superhero who picks up my pieces on any given day and moves forward. That my friends is not easy to do with your wife who has often been called hot headed, bitchy, fiery, hard to handle, stubborn, more stubborn...well , you get the picture. 8 years and he still comes back for more. Not all heroes where costumes, have powers you can see or do great, amazing things. Some are just there, quietly waiting to pick up the pieces. That is what I hope my son learns from his Dad. It's not always beautiful and perfect this life we have but it's ALWAYS worth it.........without a doubt.

Measuring success my way with a hearty side of used coffee grounds.

Lately I have been feeling "less than" Less than a good Mom, less than a good wife and less than successful. I am a stay at home mom. We are not rich, we don't HAVE a lot and I work 2 jobs from home to help make ends meet. Lately I have been noticing the differences in my life and others....the dream house, vacations, money to burn. Today while sweeping dirt from around the illegals ( the daycare kidlets) and feeling "less than" I came to the realization that I HAVE a heck of a lot. I have a crazy wild almost 4 year old boy, a wonderfully loving and patient husband, a HOME, a family and a wonderfully simple life.  Does the rest matter? I don't think it does. If someone had told me I was not successful I would have eaten them alive but because I decided it was so.............it was so. I was comparing myself to people with different values, families, lives. It turns out that this girl right here is VERY "MORE THAN" We live in 1000 sq ft of condo space....yes, I want a farm. We have one vehicle ( it's new..but who cares..it's still a minivan) and a very full life of everything. Life's not always beautiful..trust me, it is not. But I always come out the other end more grateful and happy than I was before. So I tip my hat to those of us who don't keep up with the Jones because I firmly believe that leads us down a path of debt, divorce and despair. I am worth way more than that and so is my family. Onwards and upwards!!! So.......What do you do to re purpose your old coffee grounds? Did you know you could re purpose them? I was standing over the percolator today while it bubbled away and was wondering to myself what I could do with that black mess inside the cup. So I hopped into my shower with a cup of them and scrubbed away....my face and body. Let me tell you that this was close to a miraculous discovery. I mean who would have thought that it would be sooo good to exfoliate all that winter dead skin away with coffee!! It actually made my skin feel alive. Makes sense.............caffeine keeps me from falling asleep in the bread dough why couldn't it liven up the rest of me. I did a little google research today and turns out there is quite a lot we can do to reuse the stuff! I already knew about mixing it into my garden soil for nitrogen replacement. Shout out to my Mudder here...............coffee grounds placed into the base of the blueberry plants makes the blueberries grow bigger, sweeter and more. BUT did you know it acts as a hair softener/shiner? A exfoliate, a pot scrubber, a shower scrubber, fridge deodorizer( dry it out add to bowl, place in fridge..easy peasy) This shit is A.MAZ.ING!!!!!! No pics today.....I used up my grounds before thinking of taking a pic!!. Anyways a recap.....Simple= Fuckin' Awesome, Coffee Grounds = A.MAZ.ING and my life.........damn near beautiful.  Shameless Charity Plug time.....my favorite people, my favorite Non profit society that I would do anything for( My husband fears winning the lotto big) Please take a minute and learn about Cameryn. A very special little girl who started something amazing without even knowing it. www.camerynscause.com. If you have it..give a bit. One day you too might be on the receiving end of a small cheque to pay a bill when you  need it. Nothing is more important than our kids.