The Underground Movement

SOoooooo....it's been awhile. I am now 31 weeks pregnant, working the daycare at least 50 hours a week and if you don't mind my sayin' Fucking tired. But wth all of the daily life that happens around here and all the boogers, whining( mostly mine), tests, appointments, illegals, preschool etc I have something to say and discuss. No it's not homesteading, cooking, baking, gardening or whatever I would love to do more of..it's a topic that should stir something.
 When did parenting become a underground movement?

 What I mean is...when did we as mothers become more important than our families? When did husbands stop caring who cared for thier kids? When did the modern world start expecting teachers, daycare providers, doctors and  babysitters to raise our kids? WTF is wrong with people?

Pause for phone call from Mudder......and to feed the ravenous beast watching cartoons.( yes, we hippies do let our kids watch tv once a week..maybe more when mom is dog tired and pregnant but I will never tell) And by the way my Mudder has still accomplished more than me today at twice my age.

 So anyways...parenting or the lack thereof. Sigh...this is a very hot topic for me and I am "mildly" opinionated about it. What spawned my rant today was a friend posting in a Mommies group on facebook about how she NEEDED "kid-free time"
WTF #1 - Her kids are in daycare 50-60 hours a week, home for dinner and bed and on weekends- ummmmmm isn't your life of working, gym, hair etc "kid-free time"
WTF #2 - Who doesn't want to spend saturdays with the kids they bred, birthed and "parented"
WTF #3 - pretty sure my Mom dragged us with her to the mall despite the pain and torture it inflicted on us all..including her.

SO I began to think....WTF happened to "Moms? You know...that wild eyed, jean and runner wearing, non waxed entity that had complete unrefuted knowledge of her children. Well look around. I am happy to report there is a small underground movement in your local community. You can search them out not by their gossip, buns of steel, manicures, hair dye or $50,0000 mini-vans( wtf..its still a minivan douche bag) You will find these habitual creatures in your local parks, malls, grocery stores and doctors office. How do you know what your looking for you ask, if not for lulu lemon, manicures and starbucks?? Here is a short list to help you out with your Mom scavenger hunt:

1) Her kids are dirty and bruised and plentyful. Don't judge...they are not beaten. They are outside so mom can mop the floor or brush her teeth. Bruises happen to kids by life happening...it's NORMAL. My son has not had a leg unbruised since he was 4.5 months and crawling. He is dirty, sometimes smells and known to touch ..GASPPPPPP.....dirt and bugs. Often digging for gold in a dirt pile with a stick. What odds...he is 5.

2) When her minivan pulls up and the doors open...you have the distinct pleasure of smelling life...rotten fruit that was never recovered, kids, socks, boogers and cheap coffee spilt in the console. There is no "hawaiin tropical" air freshener or some other bullshit fakeness. There are no leather seats, DVD players or Brain rotting devices. Its a vehicle...not a status symbol. For the record, I do drive a newer minvan....but a DODGE..not a honda, vw, nissan..a plain ole dodge caravan. It gets us where we are going and smeels like rotten things and strangely enough a dog...we don't have a dog though.....

3) She does not pack countless toys or store bought snacks. Her kids come with water bottles and fruit...maybe a granola bar if the kids ate thier lunch. Her kids are most likely the ones using their imaginations and being told not to pick their noses and arses. She is not afraid to ask if so and so wiped his bum after doing a number 2.

4) Her attire:
 Mom jeans...yes we still wear them. They fit awesome 5-10 years ago and ther is nothing wrong with them so we still wearing them. They could be maternity style but you'll never know.
Her shirt most likely has a hole in it or a stain. It is most definetly not a name brand that matters to most but it's comfortable and her boobs dont fall out. Probably cotton.
Her bra does nothing for her either...but it's comfortable. Probably cotton
Now look at her feet...something sensible that says " I can catch you before you leave the park exit arsehole so don't bother running". Most likely older runners or maybe even her slippers...it happens.

5) Her general appearance leads you to a complete and thorough diagnosis as a Mom. Her nails are chipped, dirty and short...real moms wipe bums and dont want poo glued to their hands all day.
 IS she even wearing make up???? Probably not..also deodorant is a maybe...
Her hair is in a hair tie, probably unbrushed or at least looking so.
Wax has not touched her body since her first baby ..other than that time the kids knocked over a candle and she caught it left handed while fixing a stuffed rabbit or stepping on lego.

At this point in your search you are probably wickedly disgusted and mocking her but let me tell you something about Real Moms. Our kids are smart, well adjusted, disciplined good citizens of the world. No they aren't perfect. Neither are we. They are learning and we are teaching them. So while 80% of the world drops their kids off with strangers to be taught things that are deemed someone elses "job" like how to tell the difference between a circle and a square, or say please, these Moms are teaching, hugging, wiping, loving maniacs.We aren't scared or intimidated by other Moms...you have nothing on us. Your manicured hands wouldn't last 2 hours in our lives and we don't stay home because we are rich. We make  sacrifices so our kids have us. My husband works his ass off so that I can raise our children responsibly and safety. I work..I do daycare. I provide a service to people who work. There is nothing wrong with working...we all need to make a living but there is something wrong with using it as an excuse to pass the parenting buck to someone else because it might get to hard or interfer in someway with your own life.

Where were your Moms when you were growing up? I know where mine was...working her ass off day and night for us. My parents raised us..not a sitter, daycare worker or teacher. My parents taught us manners and to be good people. They taught us the value of life and it didn't matter if the hurt bird we found was going to die anyways.......we were taught how to help it.  We werent sent somewhere everytime my mom needed groceries or a haircut. We waited in the truck in parking lots with Dad( or god forbid these days alone once in awhile) so she could run in. She didnt NEED time away but we all had time together. My parents both worked. My dad monday - friday and sometimes weekends and my mom at night. She was a janitor...did she want to be?? Hell no, but she needed to be home for us. So I have the highest regard for my parents and other Real Parents. They did it well. Weekends in the summer...no matter how dog tired they were, we packed up and went camping, fishing, swimming, etc. Was that my moms break? Yes..because we went with friends. Was it more work...fuck yes. But in between the chaos, cooking, cleaning, etc that camping brings there were brief moments where her and her mom friends sat in chairs watching us live life. And that was the reward. My parents have raised 3 kind, generous, caring human beings.
Did we think we missed the boat because Mexico or disneyland never happened? Never once. We called our spot at the lake disneyland.
I take what my parents gave us and try to do the same. I have sacrificed things and no longer look like the athletic cheerful wonder that my husband fell in love with but let me tell you something about good husbands; It gets better. We don't look the same, we laugh about ourselves but through the wonder of children, life, age and wisdom we love harder and more. Real Moms are sexy to Real Dads.
 So ladies....put down the cellphones and peel back your nails. Sit down at the table with your kids and grab a piece of paper....teach them something. Teach them to think, love, care, give( one of the most important) and stop padding the world...kids fall, make mistakes, hurt feelings, sometimes yes they steal. Teach them not to. To hold doors open for older people, not to race in first. To say please and thank you. Teach them to pick up their garbage..not that someone else is paid to do it. Teach them life can be sad( birds die, cats die, grandmas die) but that it always gets easier. Teach them that they are not entitled to the world but that they are part if it. You wonder what is wrong with the world today when kids can shoot other kids and steal ipods from backpacks...but claim to "not have time" for them. Skip the bloody gym or take a day off work to spend with these incredible creatures you have the distinct pleasure in raising. The pay off is incredible. My parents get to sit at a table now filled with 3 daughters, 3 son in laws, and umpten grandkids...all well adjusted and cared for and caring. We have too many pets, too many bills, no alone time but there is more life and love  than can be imagined. And this mom jean, unwaxed, cellulitey Mom is proud and happy to be part of a movement called parenting. Join us...it's the best club in town but very exclusive. Good luck in your hunt!

Sharing

I just wanted to share an amazing blog with you. I started reading a few months ago and fell into it. John, Maria, Donkeys, Chickens, Florence, Rocky and the Dogs....I encourage you to read. He talks not about the struggles of farming etc but about the complete joy in it. Rocky the 33 year old blind pony, Simon the rescued donkey and the many other characters on Bedlam/New Bedlam farm. I am completely wrapped up in the story of their lives which is strange considering it is not a work of fiction. Anyways, give him a read.....totally worth it. http://www.bedlamfarm.com/

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

OK, so here is something I learned today that blew my mind when it worked! If you have kids listen up! Kids around these parts are covered in various berry fluids for July and August( yes we have 2 good months and that is it! We live in a freakin' rain forest!!!) So today I took the kid and illegals to the park with a bag of cherries( I would never allow the cherry eating in my house..EVER) Madness ensued. They were like wild dogs...even the kid who doesn't eat real food. Not only were their faces and hands covered..legs, shorts, shirts, hats...everything was covered in purple juice. Now, the first thing parents learn in my loosely termed daycare is, and it's in the contract bible, is that your child will never remain clean, never ever. I wash faces twice a day, unless a disaster strikes. I would never clean faces at the park with chemically soaked diaper wipes etc. Kids should be dirty..it's proof they are kids. I love it. SO we came home 3 hours later with this "stuff" still stuck to ourselves and our clothes. My son didn't blink a sticky eye at being dirty...the other kids had a horrified look on their faces and will probably suffer PTSD.

 We came in, washed our hands and faces and went on with the day. I also do not change clothes unless it has been pooed in, peed in or extremely wet. Deal with it.......your kids don't really care, why do you? So anyways, I put the wingnut to bed tonight and looked at this shirt...WTF, that will never come out!.So like any good parent I poured a vodka water with lime, and sat down at crackbook. WELL SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. The first thing I peruse is a friends status update

 "In follow up to the start of my day of smoothie-in-blender spewing disaster, here's a helpful tip for those of you who have trouble getting berry stains out of your clothes: boil water and pour it directly on stain from a distance. Stain will be gone instantly! Promise!" 

Huh, interesting..not convinced! So I then think, what the heck, worth a shot. IT FUCKING WORKED. I kid you not!!!!!!! All that's left on the shirt is yogurt, gravel dust, dirt and various other daily things. BUT NO CHERRY STAINS. 

Pre Water

Post Water

The yogurt got more visible..weird but whatever!

As a side note we did a little Canada Day craft with my BFF's daycare. Check it out...hand print flag t-shirts!

And PS- found this beauty curbside and embarrassed the crapola out of my hubby when I came to a sudden halt in my uber cool mini-van and backed up and demanded he get out and liberate it from the trash bin

Her name is Mathilda! I am soo in love and my seestor is too..she is to become a scarecrow in the funny farms garden!

Screen Time

 

What the crap is screen time and why is it the latest buzz phrase in parenting? This is ridiculous. Last night I heard this statement said to me about someones parenting. " We only allow 2 hours of screen time after chores and homework are done" My response........wait for it..........."WTF IS SCREEN TIME? "  The answer was , well you know, a long drawn out excuse for using the video games and TV. I DO not believe in either as a parenting tactic or as a "activity" Yes, our son watches TV, he is 4, loves Transformers and Max and Ruby. Does he get to watch daily....not usually. TV is for when your sick. It's a treat. Video games are not allowed in my house by my son or The Illegals.  Gary Anaka happens to agree with me. He is a fabulous speaker and presenter on brain health. Check him out here . All a child needs is his/her imagination, a bucket and shovel, books and lego. I firmly believe this. Now you could say " we only let so and so use video games that are educational" BULLSHIT. Video games in their nature teach our kids to not use their brains( repetitive movements) sit still and not talk. Here is a list of fabulous things you and your kids should do, but first buy gumboots!
1) Play with lego, duplo, mega blocks, jenga pieces....whatever
2) Garden...............GET DIRTY. I mean really dirty..gardening gloves are for sissies. You don't want to be a Sissy do you?
3) Get some chickens, dig them worms, step in poo in your bare feet
4) TURN OFF THE SCREENS
5) Nature walks
6) BEACH
7) When it pours rain build a fort and TALK to your kids. They are amazing little beings and you will learn something. Hint: leave the dishes and cleaning for a day
8) Board games- even a 2 year old can play Yahtzee
9) Ride a bike
10) Just don't turn the TV on. You can do it and you will be sooooo glad you did. Not just for your kids but for yourself.

 A few months ago we turned off the tv and went over a month without our son watching it. It was an amazing experience and now after he is done watching a show he gets up and turns it off( if he makes it 30 min, lol) We talk more, love more, learn more and laugh a lot more. No one is brain dead and drooling at a screen. Join the bright side and put down the controllers.

Bliss Balls! No...not my husband's!

A favorite around this place with my family and the "everything in a box" illegals is Bliss Balls( insert heavenly gates opening and harp music) Basically you dust off the food processor, it is wayy too time consuming to make this by hand/knife.
Add 1 c. of nuts..any kind and grind until totally ground.
Then add
10-14 dates ( pitted.DUH)
A handful of raisins, coconut whatever suits you.
A tbsp of raw cacao( if you want)
Grind again then while it's grinding slowly pour in 1-2 tsp of honey, maple syrup, agave...again, whatever suits you.
 Roll into balls and dust with cacao, coconut, whatever......you get the picture.

The last batch I made was almond then I had some trail mix hanging around and made a batch of trail mix balls. I always roll them in ground coconut..delicious! I made 2 batches that day and had no to show for it within 2 days. I would say there were 3 dozen there. I make them kid sized and call them unbaked cookies. I cheat like that.

 As a side note.....my Hubby bought me a book! The Illustrated Guide to Country Living by Abigail R. Gehring.
It's not a book I would buy myself as it has a ton of subject but doesn't go in depth into any of them. I do however love that there are little sections called "Junior Homesteader" with projects simple and advanced, for Kids! Awesomeness. We are going to do Compost Lasagna with the illegals next month. It has some handy recipes. One that I was skeptical about as I have run out of nearly every staple in the house but still wanted cookies. I modified the recipe to suit my taste lack of groceries.
Here is my version:

Oatmeal Cookies
2 eggs ( beat separately)
3 tbsp butter
1 cup sugar( any variety)
2 cups oats (rolled)
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup coconut

Beat eggs, add to bowl and throw everything else in and mix well. Spoon onto a baking sheet and bake in 400 degree oven for 8-10 min. Now of course bake time depends on how big you make your cookies.

Our gardens are looking decent  LAME!!! We are having soo much rain and cooler temps that my 3 plots( in various locations within the city, lol) are doing ...well...MEH. Very disappointing. I am hoping the weather perks up and we get a heat wave soon. My gardening pride is on the line. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Beliefs.

I have beliefs and so do you all. We are all different and our beliefs reflect that. My beliefs hoover somewhere in witchcraft, nature and trying to be a good person. I am a good witch. I don't believe in meddling in my art. You can't dip your toes into the darker waters of witch craft..........you drown in it. I went to church as a child and never quite understood hos being in a uncomfortable seat once a week in a gymnasium could make god love me? Shouldn't we be more? Want more? What about the man who beats his family and goes to church on Sunday? How does he get a hall pass? Church people were balls deep in gossip.........how did that fit in? Anyways I came from a family where we were taught it was good to question, wonder, seek answers, love, hate, cry, laugh, forgive and most of all try to be a good person. . Religion did not teach me that. My parents did. My Dad's tombstone should say " Gone to see for himself" when he dies. I get my suspicious and inquisitive nature from him. I get my intuition and confidence from my Mudder. My short temper, sharp tongue and humour I get from both. When 2 of their daughters announced one day that they were witches...neither blinked. After all, it ran in our family. I have a nature/kitchen based witchery and my sister has a more traditional based system. Neither of us has a coven, but we have a uncanny love for animals that is rarely understood by others. We love the bad ones..the unacceptable ones. Most animals in our house growing up and now are wicked creatures with personality that would put most humans to shame, our children too! We have a third sister but she, like our mother, has no chosen faith and has said she wont reproduce...she has met the kids.  I think my natural draw to the hippy side helps with my choices. It's hard to put any one's beliefs, morals, ethics into a book.   My favorite saying on religion is " Whatever makes you a good person"  Faith is soo much more than our religion. I am fond of saying I don't have a religion and when anyone points out wicca as my chosen faith I scoff. Wicca is not what it once was..it is now a fad for school girls who buy wiji boards at toy stores. I believe in centuries old traditions. Witches should be revered and cherished not feared. I am a physician, teacher, home maker, healer, therapist and above all a good witch.  This is the best description of what my faith is based on and from the first time I read it I have cherished this.


Catechism for a Witch's Child

When they ask to see your gods

your book of prayers

show them lines

drawn delicately with veins

on the underside of a bird’s wing

tell them you believe

in giant sycamores mottled

and stark against a winter sky

and in nights so frozen

stars crack open spilling

streams of molten ice to earth

and tell them how you drink

a holy wine of honeysuckle

on a warm spring day

and of the softness

of your mother who never taught you

death was life’s reward

but who believed in the earth

and the sun

and a million, million light years

of being

I promise to get back to homesteading and good old fashioned home made tomorrow. Life around the condo has been insane these days. New illegals have come in, old illegals have left, summer is here and honestly we are never home, lol. I am currently refinishing some old furniture to well..make it look old! LOL That's up next on the blog along with bliss balls and home made Hippy chocolates! Stay tuned for this and more!

 

Bill..warning. No pictures, recipes or homesteading!

At night, right before bedtime we have "quiet time" My hubby and I take turns laying with our son for 10-15 min after he goes to bed. Kid talks ( mostly nonsense about zombies eating brains and the cat) and we listen and ask questions, talk back....whatever fits. This is my favorite part of every day. I can be tired, cranky, unfit to snuggle, awful, bitchy etc and forcing myself in there to listen to more talking and more weird noises. BUT a few minutes in I relax and we snuggle and chat. Lately I have been telling Kev stories about Bill. Now, Bill was a extra-ordinary person. He was my Great Grandfather. He died one Friday in July 1999. I have missed William Burton "Bill" Langille every day since. He was the most kind, interesting human I have ever met. There were 3 things that "Pop" knew. Salmon fishing, gardening and "Goof". All 3 flowed together and afternoons were spent in the wonderland he created in his backyard getting lessons in picking raspberries and fish composting. I loved that yard and often recall the laughter us 3 girls shared with him and my great grandmother. Madeline Langille was tough as nails and most thought her mean but I adored her. Costume jewellery, a clean house, a love for Bill that was heartbreaking ................AND vodka hidden in the dryer. I wish she was still here( I can picture vodka on her kitchen and stories I would love to hear). She died shortly after Bill. They were only married for 34 years and unknown to me at the time Bill was not my maternal great grandfather. Nan left her first husband and moved to Nova Scotia where she met Pop. They later moved to Salt Lake City where they decided to marry. At the time( wayyyyy back) you were forced to publicly announce your intentions for divorce. Nan had a piece run int he Salt Lake Paper and a Newfoundland Paper. I found this in a tea cup in her china cabinet after she died. It was then that I realized that She has a person who I knew little about. Pop too. Anyways....back to Pop
 IN February 2000 my nephew was born. A avid outdoors man, he brings tears to my eyes because he fishes the same spots Pop took us( no one showed Kaden those spots. He just....found them)I do not think this was an accident.

Pop used to say that " If you sat down long enough a fish would come say Hi Little girl) I have no idea if Pop ever knew our names. We, including my Mudder, were "little girl". He would come home every day with Salmon. He would carefully clean them with the same tools he always had and teach me about compost. See gardening and fishing go hand in hand and Pop knew this. If you mixed salmon guts with the soil beneath your raspberries MAGIC HAPPENED. He grew rows upon rows of raspberries that were as big as our thumbs. We often ate them off our thumbs after a careful picking lesson. I still pick berries the way Pop taught us. Here's another secret for you: Only take the berry. It's harder than you think. Try it. Pop had these massive, thick , working hands ( he was a miner his whole life and died of lung cancer- go figure) and he could pick a berry so carefully that there was not a speck of juice on a finger. When he died, Nan had the yard mowed clean. I personally think it hurt too much to look out the back window.
Your probably wondering what GOOF is????? Well, it's wine in a massive jug. He would slip my Mom some money and she would bring him back a jug from town. it was artfully hidden in his shed from Nan, while her Vodka was tucked away in the dryer.( Now I know why she preferred to hang her clothes...sneaky lady) Goof was a very important part of the gardening/fishing equation.
 I still go visit there grave markers and still to this day I do insist they are on the wrong sides. I just know, from the day we laid those boxes in, that Nan is under Pops name and vice versa.. I could hear her shouting at me during the service. " That's not my side of the bed!!!!!" My Mom insists it's not so...but me and Nan know. One day I will dig them up and put it right.
 The stories about Bill have become soo much a part of our night. Kev can tell them to me now and although he has no idea that Bill is a real person, one day it will click and he will have at least stories of the greatest grandfather there ever was. We didn't know how lucky we were as kids and each spring as I plan my gardening I think of Bill and the thumb berries. Maybe it's a children's book in the future but for now....every night at 7:30 you can hear the story in Kev's room. I don't have a picture ( as digital shit wasn't around for us back then) but I will never forget that little cottage, big yard and old couple. My sister now owns the house. It is empty and I will get there to take some pics before it's gone. I wish we would teach our kids the importance of the wisdom and knowledge of "old people" Our kids need to know about fishing, berries, compost, canning etc. These are things I was too young to learn from my great grandparents and grandfather and now I wish I had paid attention because secret recipes get lost, never written down and the talent in years of work can never be learned without a teacher. Teach your kids EVERYTHING. So they can look back as adults and thank you for that knowledge.